These Three Things
by Robias
Summary: Since the beginning of time, Castiel's biggest priority has been his family and carrying out the will of his Father. He was a good soldier of Faith. When he meets Dean Winchester, slowly but surely everything in changes.  Castiel-centric, future Destiel
1. PART ONE: FAITH  Lucifer and Lilith

PART ONE: FAITH  
><em>Chapter one: Lucifer and Lilith<em>  
>Word count: 1900<br>Genre: idk, drama? family?  
>Rating: worksafe (so far)<br>Note: I'm not gonna claim to be good at Christian theology, I just wanted to understand Castiel better, as an angel and a person. Then I found that I wanted to spend a lot more time with it, and do some proper research to do it justice. I got help from aerilex at livejournal, without whom this probably wouldn't have been posted at all. I still think I'm probably stepping on a few toes here. But I'll try, and I'll try to have fun with it in the meantime. Oh, and there's gonna be Dean/Castiel here in the future, someway, somehow.

* * *

><p><em>And now abide faith, hope, love; these three things; and the greater of these is love.<em>

- St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians: 13:13, the Bible

Castiel thinks of the first time his Father allows him down to Earth, one of the last angels to set foot on the magnificent creation of God. He remembers the feeling of air rushing through his lungs for the first time as his brother Michael, the Angel of Miracles tells him how to breathe; he can make out the mixture of nitrogen and oxygen and understands in an instant what this will mean for the creatures inhabiting this planet. He looks at his Father's creation, eyes shining with wonder and unshed tears, because this is all too much; this is too beautiful, and the love his Father has poured onto the Earth is overwhelming.

Next, Michael shows him the children of Earth. He points towards one of the little beings, so small that they could easily go unnoticed to an angel, had they not been such a big wonder to them.

"Do not step on that fish, Castiel," Michael tells him. He leans down, cups them in his gentle hands, lifts them from the water to hold in front of Castiel's eyes. He tells him of their Father's Plan for each one of them, of what they are going to be; of the ones which are going to grow fins to stay in the water, and those that are going to grow legs and leave the depths to walk the Earth, those that will grow wings like Castiel and his brethren and conquer the sky.

Castiel cries as he is shown the beginning of life, God's infinite kindness too great for him to bear. His brother touches his Grace with reassuring strokes as Castiel clings to him, crying, and praising His brilliance, His capability to love, bigger than life, big enough to create life. When his Michael asks Castiel if he will love these beings, love them as their Father loves them, if he is willing to protect them for eternity and give everything for them, Castiel does not need to say that he will, that of course he will, he will do anything. Michael tells him then that he must practice patience, that these beings will be slow learners, flawed, quick to hate and condemn, and Castiel does not understand. How can anything that his Father creates be flawed and imperfect, when He Himself is perfection?

"Love is a sword with two edges, Castiel," Michael tells him then, and there is something in his tone as he gives him one of God's many wisdoms, something which Castiel does not yet know the name of. It hurts his very core, this unknown thing in his brother's eyes, and he shivers. There's a need then, to protect his Father, to protect these wonderful beings which He loves so much, and Castiel swears, swears on his Grace, that he will always love them, no matter what, so that his Father may be content.

Then there is Lucifer. His brother, the Most Beloved, who God gave everything. Lucifer has always seemed so perfect to Castiel, despite never having met his older brother. The tales about him chime throughout the Host, stories about his magnificence and beauty, Lucifer shines with a brilliance rivaling that of the stars. Some say that he is, in fact, the most brilliant of all stars. Far into the future, there will be scriptures which praises his superiority, claiming Lucifer's wisdom to be next in line after God's. Of course, Castiel himself has never thought of it like that, because no one can be equal to God, but he admires his brother Lucifer, and loves him fully and wholly, just as he loves all his brethren. Now, however, Castiel also loves the Earth, and he happily and proudly devotes himself to his Father's Plan, walking the Earth and watching over the first steps of evolution.

Thus, Castiel is not present when God banishes Lucifer from Heaven and Michael forces him down into the Pit and locks him away, but he hears about it from Uriel and he can feel the wound in his Father's chest as if were the pain his own. It is like a withered black scorch; Lucifer's betrayal, and something stirs in Castiel's own chest. It is foul and terrifying and Castiel begs to be allowed to go down to Lucifer, to let him see his brother. The feeling in his chest is too much, overwhelmingly big and ugly; there must be something he can do, surely Lucifer must be suffering as well in the knowledge that his Father is displeased with him.

God will not let him go to Lucifer, although in his infitive wisom and generousity he sends Castiel away to heal his own wounds. He is the Angel of Solitude, and he takes his solitude in the Earth, this beautiful pearl, so full of the very essence of God's love, and for centuries he simply watches. The feeling in his chest settles at last. Haniel, Angel of Harmounious Love comes to him, and he is told of the ranks, that he will be the subordinate and Haniel his superior. They are one pair of many coupled angels which are meant to go to Earth to teach these creatures how to procreate, he is told; the next stages of evolution will be too complex for cellular division.

So him and Haniel take on new forms, as a male and female of each species, and they teach these creatures of the gift of life. Castiel is reluctant, as the means of communication is so limited in this form, but a simple spark of desire triggers a deeper instinct within the creatures, something God had already planted there within them since the beginning of time, and he has to do little else to help them along. It is strange, Castiel thinks, to be in such a primitive form, to feel its many legs and scales and internal organs, but yet be conscious of the full potential of its evolution.

As he and Haniel and their brothers finish their mission and go back to Heaven, Michael meets them at the Gate.

"Our Father wishes me to tell you that he is pleased with you," his brother says. Castiel looks upon him and wonders, for a short instance, whether Michael feels regret for what he had to do to Lucifer. God was the one who deemed it necessary, but Michael was the one who had to do the deed. Castiel does not think that he could do that to one of his brothers, and perhaps God knew this and that is why He asked none other than Michael to condemn Lucifer to never ending imprisonment. He exchanges a look with Haniel, who he knows shares the same hesitance. This does not go unnoticed by Michael, and he envelopes them both in his Grace.

"Do not fret, brothers," he tells them, and Castiel is instantly reassured. "Our Father has many things to attend to now in the beginning of creation , and while us not being able to do much to help Him may make us restless, there will be much for us to see to all in good time."

"What can we do?" Castiel asks; the thought of not being able to help his Father does not sit well in his chest. He takes a step back and looks at his brother. Michael smiles and touches Castiel's Grace in a way that Castiel will later in his existence come to think of as a "pat on the head".

"Just pray, brothers, pray for Earth," Michael says. Castiel nods; so does Haniel. When Michael turns away from them and Castiel meets Haniel's gaze, he catches a glimpse of something new, something different about his superior. There is a different glow to Haniel's wings, the angel's features are also different. Castiel looks curiously at his brother until Haniel finally speaks:

"It was comfortable. Being female. I thought I should adopt some of the traits I had down on Earth."

Castiel nods that he understands. "It becomes you... sister?"

Haniel smiles. "Thank you."

Thousands of thousands of years later, Castiel is still uncertain if he was the one who could have saved Haniel, if she would still have given into temptation and fallen, had he only been a bit more attentive. It pains him still, thinking about the changes in his sister, uncertain of whether he should feel guilty. There is, after all, no bigger betrayal than the one against one's family.

His family is never quite the same after Lucifer's fall. After Castiel and his kin took vessels amongst the creatures of Earth, he can sense changes amongst several of his brethren; the ones of his brothers who came to Earth and took female vessels are all displaying different symptoms, most of which are very becoming and of no concern. Castiel continues to obey His will, sometimes being allowed passage to earth, always together with Haniel, and later also with Uriel, Angel of Creativity and Clairvoyance, to help his Father's cause. He sees the changes these primitive beings goes through over millions of years, and him and his brethren are the ones who finally helps the apes to their feet, stretching their spines and straightening their postures so that one day, they will be able to walk the earth as a spitting image of his Father. Castiel looks in admiration as the apes learn and develop societies, families. Haniel stands at his side, and as she reaches out to touch his Grace, Castiel can tell that she is as overwhelmed as he is by the beauty before them.

Their eyes meet, and Castiel wonders if there is something Haniel wants to tell him; he can feel it through her touch, but she only withdraws and shakes her head. "It's just that... Our father truly is almighty."

Castiel truly thinks so, too.

But something has changed, he knows, ever since Lucifer said no. Their Father walks amongst the creatures of Earth, unseen by these tall apes, and talk to them through chosen ones, prophets they are called. The prophets speaks to them about His love, about his Plan. There is one, however, of His most beautiful creations whose displeasure is quite evident. And to the great dismay of the Lord and all of his angels, the female called Lilith is soon lost to them. Uriel tells him that is was necessary; that she had turned away from their Father much in the same way Lucifer had. Her grief and anger had been with the part of their Father's plan concerning conception. As the creatures of the planet below them begun to evolve, Lilith had seen injustice in the manner of conception, interpreting the position of the female underneath the male as submission, and her position as female caused her to rebel against His Plan.

Many years later, the angels know that there are cracks in Luficer's cage, through which his voice can seep through to poison the minds of these fragile beings. At the time, however, neither Castiel nor his brethren knew, and thus there was no way of helping Lilith.

Of course, God had wanted to forgive her, but Lilith would not come to him no matter what. As Lilith's earthly life ended, her soul was lost to them, drowned in the dark abyss of the Pit, the First Child of Lucifer.


	2. PART ONE: FAITH Falling From Grace

PART ONE: FAITH  
><em>Chapter two: Falling From Grace<em>  
>Word count: 3100<br>Genre: idk, drama? family?  
>Rating: worksafe (so far)<br>Note: I'm not gonna claim to be good at Christian theology, I just wanted to understand Castiel better, as an angel and a person. Then I found that I wanted to spend a lot more time with it, and do some proper research to do it justice. I got help from aerilex at livejournal, without whom this probably wouldn't have been posted at all. I still think I'm probably stepping on a few toes here. But I'll try, and I'll try to have fun with it in the meantime. Oh, and there's gonna be Dean/Castiel here in the future, someway, somehow.

* * *

><p><em>And now abide faith, hope, love; these three things; and the greater of these is love.<em>

- St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians: 13:13, the Bible

His Father grows absent; the orders are few and far apart. He is busy caring for the Earth and the creatures He gave life to in His infinite wisdom and love. More of their siblings fall, Castiel feels the loss of them amongst their ranks like a constant ache in his chest. Castiel knows that he should not despair, but he cannot help the way his Father's absence makes also him feel lost and alone. He has his brothers and sisters, and he carries out his orders as he is expected to, but it is not the same. The last time he had a real conversation with God, or even one of his Archangels was several millennia ago. He misses Him.

He still misses Him as him, Uriel and Haniel are joined together with the Garrison. More angels join them; Dina, Angel of Learning, Nemamiah, the Angel who defends the Defenceless, Mihr, the Angel of Friendship. They have much to do; the tall apes are evolving, and his Father names them Humans. They are beginning to look more and more like their heavenly Father, and Castiel finds them all very fascinating. He has sworn to love them, and love them he does, guiding them through the first steps of awakening, he and Uriel pair up to teach these humans about creativity and the spiritual world. Zachariah is their superior - had Castiel had more of an own mind he might have questioned why Haniel lost her privileges, but as it is, he simply exists to carry out his Father's orders, not dispute them. He does notice, however, that the more time Haniel spend on Earth, the more restless she seems. Castiel still trusts that she'll carry out her orders perfectly, but he can tell that something is on her mind. One day, he feels the need to ask her.

"Can you not see, brother," she asks, "that the Earth is changing our Father?"

Castiel cannot disagree. Although he has his own suspicions that Lucifer falling also a lot to do with his Father's hesitance to speak to his other angels anymore.

"It is not only him, Castiel. We are changing as well," Haniel continues. "I cannot stop thinking of Earth, of the green of the forests or the blue of the sky. Of the creatures and the time we spent inhabiting their physical bodies."

Castiel shifts uncomfortably. Remembering the time he and Haniel spent teaching the early stages of sentient beings of reproduction has always filled him with a sense of shame. He knows that he only carried out God's will, and as he was ordered to never stay in one of the creature's bodies long enough to participate in the physical act of copulation, he always left one species as soon as he has helped stir up the instinct of how they were meant to do it, but it still felt strange that he'd been so close to the act. He knew it was not a sin, for how could something so natural be sinful, but it was not for angels to know such pleasures. They were warriors of God, the constructors of creation, and the pleasures of being alive was not a privilege meant for them.

Haniel still kept her gaze steadily on him. "I stayed, Castiel," she confessed.

"Did you...?" Castiel cannot bring himself to finish the question, but as they are still connected through the Host, and their Grace, he does not need to; she knows what he means.

"I only looked."

"I would like for you to not tell me what you saw, sister."

Castiel knows that Haniel has to have felt his reason for not wanting to know; the shame he feels for having wanted to stay behind himself. How much he had longed to know, longed to see more of his Father's brilliance in the act of creating new life. Only the fact that he had been tempted is filling him with more guilt than he believes himself able to bear, but he has born it this long and he shall not give in to despair now. Michael assured him that his Father was happy with the task and how he had fulfilled his mission. He is not certain why Haniel does not feel at peace.

Now, several thousand years later, he knows where the difference between them lay, and he wonders if it would have helped Haniel if he had listened that day. If it had helped Lilith if someone had listened to her. As it is, he can only add it to the list of things he now guilt himself about.

Him and his brethren are kept very busy over the next few thousand years. Through Joshua, God has given them careful instructions to not force His will onto these humans, although Castiel admits that seeing them struggle to find a purpose to life and death is difficult. He wants to teach them of his Father's never ending love and incredible generosity, but of course he cannot disobey his orders. No more prophets are born; these creatures have no knowledge of God's Plan, and they struggle. He knows that his Father knows best, and if he deems these Humans too small and fragile to comprehend the amazing gift they have been given, then he is not the one to question God's decision to make them so.

As soon as the humans builds a concept of religion, however, things begin to happen on earth which to Castiel seem completely outrageous.

Humans will always strive to find God; they will do their best to do good, to do right. Castiel sees this quality in them, and he loves them for it. But there is something else there, something dark, something his Father left within each Human being. Castiel can see a trace there, the times he comes down to earth, of Lucifer. He does his best not to question his Father's choices, but he knows then, that Lucifer's fall has indeed damaged God, and that he is now seeking reassurance from these his children of Earth, that they will come to him on their own, that they will chose to love him as Lucifer could not.

And this part of them is what makes humans receptive to the whispers from below, from Lucifer's cage and beyond. The basic instinct to survive is something all creatures of this planet must have, but there is something else in the human mind, which makes them crave more than just living. Aside for empathy and compassion, Castiel's favourites, there is possession and greed. Castiel does not entirely understand it, but he can feel the darkness clawing at the humans' souls, and he fears it. In his prayers, he begs God to reconsider, to not risk this most beautiful of his creations, but he hears no answer. Castiel must trust that his Father knows what is best for all of his children. It is necessary for him to trust in God, that is the foundation of his very being, but as he can feel the pain these Humans cause Him, the ones who follow in Lucifer's footstep and turn away from their heavenly Father, he can feel something crack inside of him.

Demons, Zachariah calls them, and there is a contempt in his voice unlike anything that Castiel has ever encountered before. Children of Lucifer, they are, sent out from the Pit to preach his words to the humans, to taint this beautiful creation of God like he had once done with Lilith. Demons in themselves are the biggest violation of His creation yet, as they are the ruined souls of humans who had fallen for temptation. Locked up or no, Lucifer will do anything he can to collect revenge on his Father, hurt him in ways unimaginable to any angel.

With the demons come also the soulless children of the dark. Blood-sucking, flesh-eating savages whose origin can be nothing but pure evil, Castiel reasons. Some can change their face, some can blend in amongst humans, luring them in, keeping them near to strike from the shadows. It is not the assignment of his Garrison to hunt these creatures down; Balthazar and his subordinates are made experts in fighting the vampires, shape shifters, skin walkers, werewolves... His brothers and sisters take human vessels and walk amongst the mortals, teaching them how to hunt these dark creatures, creating hunting families and bloodlines.

These creatures are beyond cleansing; they can never be granted a place in the Everlasting. Another dimension is opened to trap them, never to be seen again. Fittingly enough, the dimension made to purge the world of these vile things is called Purgatory. Castiel is grateful to his Father, and to his brethren, for freeing the world of them.

Their missions come frequently now that they have an enemy - the word rings new and strange in Castiel's ears - to fight. Demon possessions keep their Garrison busy. Uriel is sent to a city called Sodom to cleanse it, and when he comes back, he is changed. Castiel looks with sorrow how Uriel guards himself from his brethren in the Garrison, concealing the pain his orders has caused him with mirth. Not all angels have known Uriel as long as Castiel has, and they cannot tell where the difference lies, but in the end, Zachariah feels compelled to change Uriel's position in the Garrison, promoting Castiel in his stead. Castiel would have gone to Uriel to make certain his brother took no offence, if not for the fact that he sees nothing to be offended by. If it is God's will that he shall lead their sisters and brothers in this fight against evil, then so he shall. Uriel must surely understand this, Castiel reasons.

Although the demons should be behind heavy lock in the Pit, they are cunning and find ways to wedge through the cracks created by the doubt and sins of mortals. Whispering promises which appeal to the dark parts of the human soul, they turn them away from God and twist them into evil beings, using these humans and teaching them spells, summons which call the demons to Earth. That they are still few at this point does not matter; the humans are too many now, they have spread too far, and there is no way that Castiel and his brethren can save them all from the demons.

God sends Gabriel to speak to a young woman. Castiel is not aware of the decision being made, that one of them shall copulate with a human being to create a child. If he had been aware, he'd have been horrified; he cannot fathom how Gabriel will be able to live with himself after having taken part in the pleasures of the flesh, despite the necessity. Afterwards, the woman's mind is wiped; she will remember nothing beside having spoken to one of God's messengers; she must be pure at heart to breed a child of pure good.

Gabriel is lost to them, after this. No one goes to seek him out, as it is impossible for lower ranking angels to question the actions of those who stand higher in rank, closer to God. Castiel would worry, as he has seen his brethren affected strangely by the acts of the flesh before, and they had not even had to go as far as to take part in the copulation, but Gabriel is one of the oldest and wisest of them all. Surely he must know that God forgives him this necessity, Castiel thinks, and turns his attention to more pressing matters.

When the child is born, he is named fatherless. But the angels know, and they rejoice, for this is the child which God has sent to earth to save His greatest creation, to speak his Word to the Humans, to turn them from evil and come back to Him; the first prophet of the Lord in many years. Castiel's heart swells with hope, perhaps will his Father finally be at peace, the wound in His chest healed.

The prophet speaks God's words to the Humans; he teaches them of purity and compassion, of the vast love God holds for each one of them. None of the angels are sent to Earth anymore, they are all asked to simply listen to this man, to do his bidding when asked for a minor miracle to convince other humans with. Castiel is not one of the angels asked often, so mostly he simply keeps out of the way, watching and hoping.

Their hope, is, of course, wasted. It has gone too far; the sins taught to humans by Lucifer's messengers has taken root too deep within their souls. By now, the ability to do good is just as much a part of them as the ability to be sinful. Castiel watches in horror as the human race punishes the one man who could save them and deliver them all to paradise, and he screams in fury at the pain these filthy little beasts dare cause his Father.

But Joshua comes before all of them, and tells them that their Father wishes them to not harm the humans. The prophet asked to take on all of mankind's sins, and God, in His infinite wisdom and love has granted him that wish. Instead, Castiel and his brothers and sisters are meant to simply leave the planet Earth in peace, to let humans fend for themselves, with a few exceptions. Listening to prayer, guide the prophets who follow in the steps of the man who died on the cross, listen to more praters, answering only when ordered, and that is not nearly as often as the Humans seem to wish. Castiel is assigned Angel of Thursday's prayers, and he listens, and marvels over the selfishness of these tall, hairless apes. Asking for help and guidance is one thing, but many prayers express dark desires.

He listens most to the prayers of children, as they are pure in spirit and mind. Their wishes are sometimes bereft of logic, but he finds them a small wonder still. There is one little girl in particular, to whom he takes a liking. She used to have a sister, a twin, and in her prayers, she asks for a friend. Castiel walks amongst her dreams as she sleeps, in the shape of a young boy, and in the safe solitude of the girl's dreamscape they play for hours at a time. As the girl grows up, Castiel enters her dreams less often, as her mind is occupied with things other than her own loneliness. He still follows her throughout her life, watching as she fills the hole in her chest from her childhood with mortal friends, a husband, children. But the connection between the human and the angel remains, and he can still hear her prayers clearly, as he will continue to hear those of all of her bloodline. They grow more similar to that of other adults of her race, asking harm unto others. Castiel is lost, for a long time he is overcome with sadness, as he cannot find it in him to forgive these awful creatures for spitting on his Father's kindness and throwing it back into His face. He decides that he will no longer have anything to do with the Humans, and he tells Michael so, the next time the archangel meets with him. Michael looks sadly at Castiel and asks him to be patient with these little beings.

"Our Father still loves them for a reason, brother," he assures him. "There is so much potential for good in these mortals, and their gift of free will will only make their choosing to come to our Father's side so much more fulfilling. Our Father makes no mistakes, Castiel, for He is nothing but good and knows no evil or impatience. There is hope. We have received new enlightenment, brother; a prophet has spoken His Words. There is a way to end Lucifer's influence and reinstate our Father's kingdom on Earth."

Castiel feels hope flare in his Grace. "What must we do?" he asks, eager.

Michael shakes his head. "It is Raphael's assignment to look after the development of the prophesy. Listen to Zachariah; he will let you know what you must do."

Castiel almost vibrates with excitement. Perhaps he will be allowed to go down to Earth again soon; he cannot wait to walk the beautiful pearl which is the crown of his Father's creation. Michael steadies him with a soft caress. "Be still, brother. It is not yet time. We must wait for the correct hour. You, who are the Angel of Temperance must understand the importance of patience."

And Castiel waits and watches, and though he is tired and saddened by the betrayal of the humans, he cannot help but to see his Father's image in them, and he knows that he will not ever leave them to their fates. God's love for the humans remain, and as long as it is pulsing through his Grace, he cannot help but house the same tenderness towards them.

He speaks to Haniel about it. She seems distracted as they walk together through one of the many memories of humans who have been granted their place in Heaven. It is crisp morning by the sea, and Castiel rejoices for the soul which has been saved and let into the Everlasting. Haniel, however, turns away from the horizon.

"What is wrong, sister?" Castiel asks, concerned.

Haniel meets his gaze, slowly looking him over, as if searching for something. She seemingly doesn't find what she searches for, and so she averts her eyes again.

"You would not understand, Castiel," she says. Castiel looks at her, curiously.

"I won't understand unless you talk to me," he agrees.

Haniel slowly reaches out to touch his Grace. "No, Castiel. You won't understand even if I do explain it to you. You aren't ready. I don't know if you'll ever be. But before it is too late, I want to tell you not to blame yourself. Although I believe you still will; as it is your nature. You are a good soldier, Castiel. Very loyal. But some things cannot be helped."

That is the last time he sees her before the news reach him through the Host, that Haniel has ripped out her own Grace and fallen. The pain he feels upon loosing his sister and superior is the most excruciating thing he's ever felt, next to the agony of his Father's suffering.

* * *

><p>Note the second: Who who can figure out who Haniel is yet? ;)<p> 


	3. PART ONE: FAITH To Hell And Back

PART ONE: FAITH  
><em>Chapter three: To Hell And Back<em>  
>Word count: 1900<br>Genre: idk, drama? family?  
>Rating: worksafe (so far)<br>Note: I'm not gonna claim to be good at Christian theology, I just wanted to understand Castiel better, as an angel and a person. Then I found that I wanted to spend a lot more time with it, and do some proper research to do it justice. I got help from aerilex at livejournal, without whom this probably wouldn't have been posted at all. I still think I'm probably stepping on a few toes here. But I'll try, and I'll try to have fun with it in the meantime. Oh, and there's gonna be Dean/Castiel here in the future, someway, somehow.

* * *

><p><em>And now abide faith, hope, love; these three things; and the greater of these is love.<em>

- St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians: 13:13, the Bible

This is what love is, he realizes; love is pain, love is a double-edged sword. Through Michael, his Father told him so, so long ago, but he hasn't been able to understand it until now. His brethren falling to the Pit, falling victims to the war... It has been torment, but to have his own superior, the angel whom he has worked alongside almost since the beginning of time, willingly leave them...

It stirs something inside of Castiel, something big and frightening for which he has no name yet.

He wishes to go speak to Uriel; his next closest brother, as they have also worked together for a long time. But Uriel is otherwise occupied; another prophet has been found, who will tell the story of two brothers of great importance. It is time to act, they are told. All can be made right, if they only follow the Word of the prophet.

The time for Castiel to take a vessel and walk the Earth again grows near, he is told, and he goes to find the man Jimmy Novak, as is foretold by the prophet. The bloodline, which started with the young girl whose dreams he once visited for years, goes back further than most of his siblings in the garrison; it should not be hard to prepare him for the assignment.

For weeks, Castiel speaks to Jimmy, carefully calling the mortal to him and preparing his mind for what is to come. Naturally, he could use more forceful persuasion; most of his brethren only ask once before gaining the necessary "yes" from their vessels. Castiel, however, has no other assignment at the moment, and he prefers to be thorough when he can.

Suddenly, Zachariah calls upon Castiel to return to Heaven. They meet in the Gardens, and Castiel looks around, then, searching for sign of his Father; he would like to ask him about the fallen angels, and what Haniel meant by him being unable to understand, he wants to know about love and the purpose of it, if suffering is the unavoidable result of loving. But God is nowhere. Castiel tries not to let disappointment get hold of him, but truth of the matter is that he has been listening to the prayers of mortals for so long now, feeling the discontent from their race seep into him for centuries, and he is tired of not being able to do anything to change things.

"So we will give you a chance to change something, Castiel," Zachariah says.

Castiel looks up in surprise.

"This mission is not for the light of heart, Castiel. It is of utmost importance that you are ready to face whatever may come to fulfill this task."

Castiel does not understand why he needs to assure this; of course he would go to the depths of the Pit and back if need be.

"There is need, Castiel, and it is dire," Zachariah nods gravely. His voice is serene, but his eyes are filled with intensity. He knows what he is asking of Castiel. But Dean Winchester must be saved.

Through the opening of Hell is not a problem. It is well guarded, naturally, but the guards burdens themselves little with stopping people from entering the Pit. Their true assignment is to keep anyone from escaping it. As Castiel and his Garrison circles lower along the levels of the Pit, they encounter their fallen sisters and brothers, and the pain Castiel feels when he sees the state of them, can sense their torment and feel the ruined shreds of what used to be their Grace, is overwhelming. He curses the necessity which has ruined these wonderful beings that once loved and fought alongside him. But he does not question it.

The red darkness of Hell bleeds into everything around them, and Castiel shudders with revulsion as he pushes further, further down into the levels. There is such hopelessness to everything he sees in the Pit, and Castiel can feel it seep into his Grace from every direction. The human souls he sees are beyond recognition; naturally he has gazed upon the wretched spirits of demons before, as they have taken a host on Earth to spread their ill will amongst the living, but here in the darkness they are more terrifying than ever before, and Castiel has to fight the urge to smite them all, to release them from their endless suffering. That is not his mission, so instead he only leaves the demons stunned by his visage as he and his brethren pass them.

As Hell twists the time they have spent in it's wretched darkness into years, he begins to fear that when he finds Dean Winchester's soul, it will already be beyond recognition, twisted into something terrifying and evil, irreparably broken. But he cannot fail his Father; he most find Dean Winchester and bring him back, no matter the state of his soul. His brethren stay close, and they can all feel evil and pain lapping at their Grace, and there is a burn in Castiel, a sensation of anguish too close to that of a physical being for his comfort. He does not know how his fallen brothers and sisters came to be what they are today, but he is now terrified for his own self; can an angel fall without consent? And if he, an angel of the Lord, can be tricked into dubiety in such a short time, how can he expect a human such as Dean Winchester to have withstood the pain for so long?

The first time he lays eyes on the soul of the human being that is Dean Winchester, unaware and strapped to the rack along with thousands of other, strung up like a pig waiting for slaughter - no, not waiting for; having been slaughtered, over and over, for years - he is almost blinded by its persistent shine. Castiel can feel the heavy, ugly soot of the Pit on his own wings, and yet, as cracked and sick as the human Dean Winchester looks, he still shines. As all memories of beauty and happiness seems to be washed to the side by the tide of desperation to simply survive this frightful place, the soul of Dean Winchester seems to him the most beautiful thing Castiel has ever laid eyes on. His brothers and sisters rejoice with him; they have made it.

There is a demon at Dean Winchester's side then, cackling as it speaks to Castiel in a nasal drawl; "It is too late, angel!" it calls to him. "The righteous man has been broken; the seal is no more!"

Castiel does not hesitate; he lands directly on top of the demon, pushing it down and possibly - hopefully - breaking something vital in the process. He stares into the twisted, grinning face of Alastair, and he knows what he has had Dean Winchester do. His eyes narrow. If he'd had his Blade... But then he shakes the thought; it does not matter. His mission is to salvage what can be salvaged, not to dwell on what has been lost.

"Your power over his fate ends here, demon," he growls, his Grace flaring out and burning Alastair's form. The demon screams, and laughs, crazed, and vanishes.

There will be others coming, they know, and the Garrison keeps guard as Castiel goes to free Dean Winchester from his bonds. He reaches out, carefully lifting the chains off him. The demons circling them dare not come too close; they won't risk the wrath of the true servants of God, even this far into the Pit. Castiel snorts; despicable and cowardly abominations, they are. But he also knows they do not need to stop him. Not anymore. The seal is broken; he was too late. But he will not fall into despair. His mission remains.

As soon as Dean Winchester is free from the straps, he lifts him to his chest. There's no time to be gentle; they will have to force their way out of the Pit, as it does not release its captives easily. And it shall have to be swift; the light of Dean Winchester's soul is flickering in exhaustion.

For the rest of his existence, Castiel will not be able to recall their escape fully. While he remembers his descent into Hell with frightful clarity, the ascent... He is too occupied with the little, human soul in his arms to take any real notice of the demons around him taking their swings at the Garrison. Their claws and blades cut into his sisters and brothers, and around him he can hear their shrieks, feel their pain is if were it his own. Castiel bursts out of the Gate, he is alone, and he stumbles as a wave of sensation hits him. His wings are torn and barely able to keep him up, and the agony of losing his brethren is overwhelming. Still, he does not let go of Dean Winchester's soul. In his desperation, he even clutches the trembling core of the mortal too hard, and his Grace has burned it. Castiel begs on his knees for forgiveness for having harmed this precious creation of his Father, and he is crying as Uriel appears by his side, complete with a new vessel. He was the only angel of the Garrison who dod not come into Hell with Castiel. And now he is the only one left.

"Dean Winchester is saved," he says, and the Hosts of Heaven rejoices. "But I was too late; the seal was broken, Uriel. I am sorry."

"Don't blame yourself, Castiel," Uriel says. "It was inevitable. We shall never know the true purpose of all that happens, but as it is our Father's will, so it shall come to pass."

Castiel nods. "I shall take Dean with me to the Everlasting, where-"

"No," Uriel stops him. "Dean Winchester has not yet served his full purpose. He must return to the world of mortals once more, Castiel, and we must watch over him. You know the importance of Dean Winchester's safety."

Castiel nods. "I understand." Though he does not truly understand. He wonders if he should ask Zachariah for insight, or even go to Raphael for Revelation, as Uriel so often does lately, but that shall have to wait. For now, the task at hand - to reassemble Dean Winchester's body and redeliver him to his mortal life - is the one thing Castiel needs to keep his mind on. It does not matter if he is tired; he is a warrior of God, and as long as he has a mission to fulfill, he will never wilt. There will be time to rest when he is done.

There is a mark on Dean Winchester's shoulder.

Castiel marvels as he arranges the limp body in its casket, six feet under ground. Their flight from Hell was no joyride, and Castiel had not had the opportunity to be gentle. Yet the only sign of his Grace's touch is that one mark on Dean Winchester's shoulder. Not to mention the forty years spent in Hell, and still he had not been tarnished and turned. There is no doubt; Dean Winchester is made differently than any human he has ever encountered before. Perhaps they can put their faith in him, after all.

* * *

><p>Note the second: And then there was Dean and we saw that it was good. Time for canon storyline, you guys!<p> 


	4. PART ONE: FAITH The Righteous Man

PART ONE: FAITH  
><em>Chapter four: The Righteous Man<em>  
>Word count: 2222<br>Genre: idk, drama? family?  
>Rating: worksafe (so far)<br>Note: I'm not gonna claim to be good at Christian theology, I just wanted to understand Castiel better, as an angel and a person. Then I found that I wanted to spend a lot more time with it, and do some proper research to do it justice. I got help from aerilex at livejournal, without whom this probably wouldn't have been posted at all. I still think I'm probably stepping on a few toes here. But I'll try, and I'll try to have fun with it in the meantime. Oh, and there's gonna be Dean/Castiel here in the future, someway, somehow.

* * *

><p><em>And now abide faith, hope, love; these three things; and the greater of these is love.<em>

- St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians: 13:13, the Bible

Castiel is frustrated. He's tried to speak with Dean Winchester once since the human dug his way out of his grave, and it proved highly unsuccessful. He was certain after his touch leaving nothing but a mere scorch that Dean was one of the chosen men who'd be able to view his visage, but to no avail. His voice hurt the man badly, and he retreats, leaving Dean to find his own way back to his kin. He wishes he could have done more to help the man, he must be truly confused, and hurting, going by the markings on his soul, but there is little Castiel can do like this.

He follows Dean from Pontiac to Sioux Falls, hovering close to his consciousness, acting like a shield around the human to make certain his soul stays shielded from demonic influence. Dean seems to grow stronger and detach himself further from the horrid experiences of Hell as he has his family around him again, and Castiel is relieved. His orders are to ignore the fact that the younger brother, Sam Winchester, is clearly infected by darkness, and he does so, as he can still sense a man of faith underneath the demon blood pumping through his veins. The demon in Sam's company, however, bothers Castiel. He decides to keep a close eye on her.

Then Dean, his brother and the old hunter go to the psychic. Pamela is one of the strongest of her kind to walk the earth in many years; she must be, as she has a part to play in the prophecy. As she calls him, Castiel must go to her, though he begs her with urgency not to force him to reveal himself to her. At first he wonders if she'll be able to look upon his true visage, but fact is that all human bloodlines have thinned too drastically over the past millennia. Pamela's eyes light up like a torch, and as soon as her concentration is broken, Castiel flees the vicinity. He does not wish to harm her further, and he feels great regret that he had to do it at all.

One last time he attempts to speak to Dean Winchester, warn him that his brother may be walking into a trap. But there is no use; Dean cannot understand him. Instead, Castiel runs ahead to the place called "Johnny Mac's Diner open 7 days", appearing before the demons possessing the humans working there, burning them badly. Once again, he feels regret for the necessity which forces him to harm these humans, but Sam Winchester also has his part to play in the prophecy, he knows, though he has not yet been enlightened of what that part entails. It is important that he does not get hurt.

He goes to his superior to ask advice. Standing before Zachariah, he feels shame for not having carried out his mission flawlessly; Dean still does not know what he needs to do, and Castiel also let those demons appear frightfully close to a man chosen by divinity. But the older angel only shakes his head and smiles.

"What can I do?" Castiel asks eagerly.

"Dean Winchester must be made aware of his assignment. It is time. Is your vessel ready?"

Castiel nods. "I will go to him right away," he says. Most of his garrison has already taken human vessels in order to to their Father's work on Earth, and Castiel hurries back to Jimmy Novak. As he approaches the vicinity of Jimmy's home, he finds the man standing outside, waiting for him.

"So, I wanna help you," Jimmy says, head tilted back and eyes fixated on the clear sky. "I'm about to lose my family here, if you don't tell me how."

It is fascinating, Castiel thinks, that even to these mortals, family is such a important concept. Of course, humans are only humans, and it is impossible for them to fathom the true meaning of family and fatherly love, but he can appreciate their efforts. The number it does on Jimmy's family and other relations is of no importance to Castiel, however; there are things of more importance at stake. The prophet's Words must be followed.

"Please, Castiel, just talk to me? What do you want from me?"

So Castiel tells him. And after the provided promise that Jimmy's family will come to no harm, the mortal opens his mind and soul to the angel.

It has been a long time since Castiel looked through the eyes of a vessel. The world seems flat and colourless to him now, as he sees it with Jimmy's eyes. Wave upon wave of sensation fills him, and he shifts, raises a hand to marvel at the feeling of bone and muscles pulling, his fingers moving. It is a bit uncomfortable, definitely confining, but he shall have to get used to it.

There is a voice behind him, small and barely noticeable to his underdeveloped senses. It takes a second to register where the sound has come from. Castiel turns around. The girl - Jimmy's daughter Claire, his vessel's brain provides - looks confused as she stares back at him. At least he believes that the emotion displayed is confusion; it is so hard to tell through these eyes. He tilts his head, attempting a different angle. Perhaps it is a different sentiment entirely. He shall have to take some time to adjust; emotions are important if one wants to know a man's true intentions.

Castiel turns away from the girl on the porch, and belatedly, he remembers that he should offer some explanation for his behaviour.

"I am not your father," he states, and the vibration of his vocal chords also feels strange. He starts away from the house; there is no reason to frighten the girl more than necessary by disappearing in front of her. He goes to find Uriel, who has already taken several different vessels since the birth of Sam and Dean Winchester, and they converse at the edge of a lake not far from Pontiac.

"This new look of yours," Uriel greets him. "I do not like it."

Castiel can feel his face reacting on his confusion.

"Why would you say something like that?" he asks, vocal chords stumbling over Enochian, making it sound stuttered and unfamiliar to his ears. Surely, Uriel knows that Castiel would not have chosen to wear a mortals body if it had not been necessary.

Uriel shakes his head, amused. "This is called sarcasm, Castiel. It is something you had better learn to recognise; humans use it to hide their true emotions from one another."

"...I see." Castiel does not see. But he has more important things to worry about; only a few miles away, Dean and his hunter friend are currently setting up a ritual to summon Castiel. Uriel is even more amused by this; as if those two could actually force an angel to appear before them.

"I shall go to them," Castiel states, balancing on his toes, then his heels, experimenting different movements with his arms. It all feels very strange, and he decides to just let it come to him naturally. In time, he will get used to this body, for now he shall just concentrate on the necessary things like breathing, and walking.

Uriel snorts. "Just don't make it a habit; these apes are selfish and tend to demand more of everyone around them than they could ever deserve."

Castiel nods. "You are wise, brother. I shan't be persuaded by the fickle will of these humans."

Uriel claps a hand on Castiel's back. It is a strange gesture, although Castiel has seen it repeated particularly by males of the human species. He has understood it to be one of approval. He doesn't know why one would do something so uncomfortable to show one's approval for another person, as the hand on his back leaves him with a slightly burning sensation across his shoulder blades, and pushes the air out of his lungs.

"There is hope for your humour after all, Castiel," Uriel says. Despite the discomfort of the clap on his shoulders, he appreciates the sentiment.

Dean Winchester is waiting for him in an abandoned warehouse at the outskirts of the town. Castiel is grateful for this; he has not yet gotten used to maneuvering his vessel, and his arrival is... messier than he'd have liked. As he approaches the two hunters, eyes locked onto Dean, he faintly notices both men blowing holes in his body with their guns. The sensation is much more uncomfortable than the clap Uriel gave him. He realizes that he will have to heal his vessel from these wounds, but at the moment, he pays them no heed.

As he walks up to Dean, the man reaches for the demon hunting knife. He positions himself to strike the angel as he turns to face him.

"Who are you?" Dean demands.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," Castiel answers. His vocal chords are agreeing more with him now, for which he is grateful.

"Yeah?" Dean's eyes narrow. "Thanks for that."

Castiel nods, but before he has the chance to feel pleased that this is going so well, Dean lunges the knife into his chest. Now, either human customs have changed a lot since the last time he walked amongst them and interacted with any of them, or Dean wasn't truly grateful for Castiel's help. Castiel remembers what Uriel told him about the human invention called "sarcasm"; perhaps this is it?

He removes the knife, and blocks the swing which Dean's companion aims at his head. All the fighting is highly inconvenient; he needs to speak with Dean alone. With a simple touch, he puts the other man to rest. Ignoring the angel, Dean rushes to his friend's side, and Castiel takes the opportunity to examine the spell with which they attempted summoning him. It is old, dark magic, and Castiel thinks of how amused Uriel would be by the fact that the hunters had believed they could summon an angel with this incantation.

He can feel Dean's glare on him from his position on the floor.

"Your friend is alive," he reassures him.

"Who are you?" Dean asks again.

"Castiel," Castiel answers, as repeating his earlier statement should be rather unnecessary.

"Yeah I figured that much, I mean what are you?"

Castiel looks at him. Of course he had not anticipated that Dean would recognise him from their escape from Hell; even if he had not been as torn and wounded as he had been, he still had not had a true consciousness at the time. Not to mention that Castiel's vessel looked absolutely nothing like his true self. Still, Castiel would have hoped that he could at least feel the pureness of his own intentions, and come to a conclusion on his own. He can feel the tingle of Dean's soul clearly against his own Grace, it appears strange to him that the human cannot feel the same thing.

"I am an angel of the Lord," he explains.

Dean doesn't believe him. Castiel knows Dean Winchester is not a man of faith, there has been too much suffering in his life for his insignificant soul to handle without feeling the influence of the dark call from beneath, and that will have to change. It will be tiring to guide a man to do God's work who does not trust him, and Castiel calls on a minor miracle to attempt convincing Dean. As lightning flares around them, Dean can see the outline of the angel's wings, despite his human senses being too dull to actually perceive them.

Dean continues to rain threats and vile words onto Castiel, accusing him in one breath, and mocking him in the next. Castiel understands that this is a way for Dean to gain some comfort; distancing himself from something which scares him through humour.

"Look, pal, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"

Castiel frowns. He is growing tired of repeating himself; the vibrations in his throat feel strange and he wishes to express himself in as few words as possible.

"I told you."

"Right." Dean makes a face. "And why would an angel rescue me from hell?"

Finally they are getting somewhere. Castiel steps closer. Dean flinches and leans away.

"Good things do happen, Dean," the angel assures the mortal.

"Not in my experience."

Castiel tilts his head. "What's the matter?" he asks. There is more to Dean's refusal to accept his words than simple confusion, he senses, and he leans in, close, observing the man's face closely. It is the first time he has ever encountered someone so stubborn in his pessimism. Usually, Castiel can turn a mortal to faith with a simple gesture, but Dean only closes himself off further. Even in this limited form, he can sense the scars left upon Dean's soul.

"...You don't think you deserve to be saved." That's it, he realizes. The change in Dean's demeanor tells him he has uttered the truth. Dean Winchester, the righteous man, is too certain of his own ruin to believe in the higher powers wishing for him to live.

"Why'd you do it?" he asks, teeth gritted.

"Because God commanded it," Castiel explains. "Because we have work for you."

* * *

><p>Note the second: I meant to upload this yesterday, but the weekend has been very busy. I hope you didn't mind. From now on, the challenge will be to keep this as not-boring as possible while I try to include the right amount of canon. This'll be a challenge!<p> 


	5. PART ONE: FAITH Not a Show at Seaworld

PART ONE: FAITH  
><em>Chapter five: Not a Show at Seaworld<em>  
>Word count: 2088<br>Genre: idk, drama? family?  
>Rating: worksafe (so far)<br>Note: I'm not gonna claim to be good at Christian theology, I just wanted to understand Castiel better, as an angel and a person. Then I found that I wanted to spend a lot more time with it, and do some proper research to do it justice. I got help from aerilex at livejournal, without whom this probably wouldn't have been posted at all. I still think I'm probably stepping on a few toes here. But I'll try, and I'll try to have fun with it in the meantime. Oh, and there's gonna be Dean/Castiel here in the future, someway, somehow.

* * *

><p><em>And now abide faith, hope, love; these three things; and the greater of these is love.<em>

- St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians: 13:13, the Bible

Castiel leaves Dean in a state of confusion; he's aware of that, but he has told Dean as much as he can at the moment, and he is needed elsewhere. A seal is found; his Garrison is waiting for him at the edge of battle. Dean Winchester is a capable man, he'll be able to care for his hunter friend and get them both back safely.

The next time Castiel has time to go to Dean is in the aftermath of the same battle. For three days, Castiel has watched his brethren being torn apart before his very eyes. Lilith scores a victory over the forces of Heaven, breaking another seal - that's five down, sixty-one to go - and he is very tired. The Winchesters have not been idle; the Witnesses were a seal which the angels had had to trust the Righteous Man to take care of, and he has done so with merit. Even if the seal was broken, unnecessary harm to the human world was prevented. Beside the hunters who fell victim to their failed rescues, of course. It is regrettable, but of little significance.

Castiel sets his vessel down in the facility of Bobby Singer's home. He can feel that Dean's mind is far away in sleep, so he reaches out with his Grace, slipping into the man's dreamscape unnoticed. Even here, he finds Dean's subconscious self resting, but not for long. Moments after Castiel has penetrated his dreams, Dean lifts his head from the pillow.

"Excellent job with the witnesses," Castiel states, as the man approaches him. He is truly grateful for the help they have received with the seal, at the same time as he is shameful that he and his brethren has not been able to serve God as successfully.

Dean does not seem so ready to accept the compliment. "You were hip to all this?" he asks, eyes narrowing.

Castiel nods. "I was... um, made aware." even if he had felt a need to go help the Winchesters, he had been otherwise occupied. As it was, he had felt no need, as his orders clearly stated which battle he was meant to be present at.

"Well, thanks a lot for the angelic assistance." Dean's words are strangled. He does not sound grateful; this has to be sarcasm. "You know I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest?"

"But you didn't," Castiel reassures him.

"I thought angels were supposed to be guardians," Dean continues, clearly not calmed by Castiel's words. "Fluffy wings, halos... You know. Michael Landon. Not dicks."

While Castiel does not understand the references Dean makes entirely, he can interpret the man's tone enough to understand that this is not a compliment. His eyes are unwavering as he meets Dean's gaze.

"Read the bible," he says calmly. There is the vocal chords acting up again, and here he had thought that he'd finally gained full control over this body. There is something fluttering in the pit of his stomach as he is near Dean Winchester, however, which upsets that control. He must practice more.

In his waking state, Dean Winchester is not nearly as pleasant as when Castiel held his soul close. Allegations s hail on him, a long string of harsh words from Dean's mouth. Castiel thinks of the battle he has just left, his Garrison, the lives they lost. He cannot tell Dean about this, the orders are to let the Righteous Man come to his own conclusions after all. But he cannot help that Dean's words cut into him, lifting the pain of losing his brethren and failing his Father to the surface. This human is infuriating, in the way he not only refuses to listen, but also twist everything Castiel offers into something else entirely.

But Dean is not satisfied with only accusing Castiel and his brethren of cowardice. "And by the way, where the hell's your boss, huh, if there is a God?"

"There is a God."

"I'm not convinced." Castiel does not know what to say. How can Dean Winchester, of all humans, question his Father's existence, when He has done so much for him and his family already? But then again, God gave the humans free will, and free choices, although it is entirely foreign to Castiel why anyone would choose to turn away from his Father's everlasting love and warmth. Dean continues to ramble on about the pain of the mortals, putting all of the blame unto his Father, and every attempts of Castiel's to argue is silenced by rudeness. He finally raises his hands in a helpless gesture; he has rarely been this tempted to simply abandon his mission and simply go back to his Garrison, where everything is clear; orders are to be followed, not questioned, and evil is to be purged.

But he has another mission here; Dean needs to be informed of the seals, he needs to know what they're up against. So far, the Winchesters have fought demons without any knowledge of their plans. It had been thought to be for the best; if the brothers could prevent the Apocalypse by smothering the spark before it caught fire, all of their problems would seize to be. But the prophecy took a different turn, and now they're running out of time. Dean Winchester must be made aware of the role he will come to play.

And it is actually Dean himself who brings it up. As Castiel explains to him the purpose of the rising of the witnesses, Lilith's agenda, Dean catches on quickly; while he may not be ready to put his faith in an unseen force such as God, this is what he has done his entire life; hunt evil. Castiel is glad, it makes things easier.

"Why break the seal anyway?" Dean asks him.

"You think of the seals as locks on a door." Of course, it is much more complicated than that, but Castiel attempts to explain in terms as easy as possible so that the human can understand.

"...Okay. Last one opens, and?"

This is the part which Castiel hesitates to let him know. It is disgraceful, this family feud which has torn the Earth apart. His brothers turning on one another, falling from Grace, their Father's pain and silence... Yet, despite all this, he does not wish to dirty his brother's name. Lucifer was the most brilliant of angels, although to these mortals he has never been known as anything else than the ultimate evil. And perhaps he is, Castiel thinks.

"Lucifer walks free," he says simply, looking into Dean's eyes, steeling himself for the guilt which he knows will wash over him upon revealing to Dean the shame of his brethren.

"Lucifer?"

Castiel nods.

"But I thought Lucifer was just a story they told in demon Sunday school. There's no such thing."

The angel is almost amused by the man's attempt to protect himself from the truth. Dean looks at him, his eyes full of questions, and yet he fights so hard to push aside the answers offered to him. They are very expressive eyes, Castiel has noticed, and though Dean is unwilling to put his true emotions on display for anyone to see, they are still visible to Castiel as if were they written in ink on a white surface. "Why do you think we're here, walking among you now for the first time in two thousand years?"

Realization dawns in those green pools, and finally - finally - Dean accepts what Castiel is, and what he is trying to tell him. "To stop Lucifer."

The angel nods. "It's why we have arrived."

The moment of honesty passes, and Dean closes himself off once more. Castiel attempts to explain to him: "Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week," and as he speaks of it, he can feel the twinge of pain in his Grace which marks the loss of his brethren to the war; Nathaniel, Mihr and Muriel all fell during their escape from the Pit; three more during the battle of the seals... Castiel mourns them all. "You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here."

He knows Dean Winchester will never be able to understand it, not entirely. He is growing weary of trying to explain himself to the man. There must be a quicker way to make him understand his position. He leans in close and his eyes bear into Dean's. "You should show me some respect," he murmurs. "I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Naturally, he does not mean what he's threatening, he would never disobey his orders. But Dean does not know this, naturally, and the sense of satisfaction which fills Castiel as he leaves him to return to his Garrison. Uriel his highly amused when he tells him of his encounter with Dean Winchester, and listens readily as Castiel vents his frustrations.

His next mission concerning the older Winchester brother comes all too soon, in his opinion. The man is truly irksome; he never does what he is told. Zachariah calls Castiel to him, to let him know about his new assignment:

"Dean Winchester must be made aware of his brother's situation," Zachariah tells Castiel, as they meet in the memory of one of the souls resting in the Everlasting. His brother's true form is so brilliant to him through the eyes of his vessel, and Castiel has to avert his gaze not to get distracted.

"I am not certain he would believe me if I told him about it; he does not trust us," Castiel mumbles.

"Then don't tell him," Zachariah shrugs.

"Then how...?"

"Show him. You are strong enough for a simple time manipulation, right?"

"I believe so, but what about the risks...?"

Zachariah touches Castiel's shoulder with his Grace, and instantly the angel is filled with calm and reassurance.

"I am convinced you will find a way, Castiel," he says.

And so, Castiel is on his way to see Dean once more. Again, he finds the man sleeping, and he attempts to sneak into his subconscious, and is instantly bombarded with horrifying images.

All around him is Hell, the icy burning flames licking at his Grace, reaching for him. Castiel looks around him; as this is not his dream, there is no sensation, but that does not make the imagery any less scarring. In the middle of a deep ditch stands Dean, blood covering his subconscious form, and he is laughing, laughing like a crazed man as he aims stab after stab of a three-bladed knife into a bound, face-less shape which can only be a projection of Dean's memory of the many souls he strung up onto the rack and tortured. Castiel only stays idle for a split second before springing to action, tugging both himself and Dean with him back to the conscious world.

Dean takes a while longer than Castiel would have liked to snap back into reality.

"Hello Dean," Castiel says, finally, announcing his presence to the awakening hunter. Dean scrambles to face him, staring disbelieving at the angel.

"What... were you dreaming about?" Castiel inquires. Naturally, he already knows. The vividness of the dream has convinced him that the dream not only was a mash up of inner turmoil, but an actual memory which Dean relived. Castiel had known that Dean had been broken under the pressure of Hell, had traced his hands over the cracks in his soul and mourned that there was nothing more he could do to heal this precious creation of his Father's. But he had not expected the impact of seeing Dean as he himself had seen his time in the Pit would have on him.

Of course - he supposes he should have expected it after his previous encounters with Dean - Dean instantly proceeds to insult Castiel. He pays the rude words no heed; he has no time for this, Sam Winchester is growing more dangerous and unpredictable, and they need Dean's insight to know what is going on with his younger brother. Castiel lifts his hand to transport Dean back to year 1973, the 30th of April; only days before Samuel and Deanna Winchester met their deaths at the hand of his former brother Azazel.


End file.
